This is what FULL feels like...

I'm officially home on the road to recovery, each day is better than the day before.  Right now I am drinking an ounce every half an hour.  I'm not in too much pain, I feel ok. 

I feel full all the time, you know that feeling of "oh i'm starving" and it's cause you haven't eaten in a long while well that feeling is gone.  I am officially full all the time.  I tire easily but I'm trying my best to keep up with doctors orders, drink my clear protein that tastes awful.  The only thing that tastes good is water. 

I have staples all along my belly.  That feels weird.  My dog Eddie won't leave my side.   He's become my nurse making sure I am ok.  Laddy too has shown his discomfort with my surgery by chewing up my headphones and my $80 toothbrush.  Apparently those things needed to be taken out.  I can't do a lot, I walk, I talk with friends, I've gotten wonderful flowers from loved ones. 

So that's about it, I'm doing ok and I'll keep posting when I start feeling better but I am on a lot of medicines so if this post feels a bit random, I apologize. 



Again, I want to say thanks to my mom, for being there for me in the hospital that first night when it was bad, real bad.  I love you.  And to Steve who's walking with me every night and making sure I'm doing what I should be doing.  Love you too. 

Surgery Nerves

I'm suppose to be drinking 4 protein shakes a  day I barely made it through my first one, I am nervous, I do not eat when I am nervous, well in this case drink.   What feels like a million thoughts are rolling through my head.   I couldn't sleep last night I just kept thinking.  I'm ok now a bit more settled but I worked myself up last night and I have spent today trying to find my calm place again.

I suppose it is just nerves.  Who wouldn't be nervous?? tomorrow I am guaranteed to be in pain, pain I paid for.  I know the end result is what matters but no one in their right mind looks forward to at least two weeks of pain.  Hopefully it won't be that long.

I am excited to lose weight, I've already lost 8 pounds, in a week.  

My support system is amazing all those who love me have been keeping my mind occupied while I got through this week.  For them I am so grateful.  Now to just get through tonight, maybe with a little bit of sleep.  Tomorrow I go in and change my life forever, a bit dramatic I know but it's the truth. 



So here it goes:

Pre-liquid diet weight: 255 pounds
Pre-surgery weight: 247 pounds
Size: 18/20

I will post "before" and "after" pictures when I lose my first "big" amount, I don't just want pictures up with no results. 

FOOD TRUCKS...

Yesterday I spent the day with amazing friends this is after having an endoscopy done to clear me for my surgery. (which I am totally cleared)  The triple date was fun had by all, but I found myself literally in the most sinful place a person who is on a liquid diet should be.  A line of FOOD TRUCKS! 

This was hard, the smells alone made me ache for just a lick, a lick... I'm writing this and disappointed in myself.  Did I cheat? Nope not one time, I drank my water and chewed my sugar-free gum like some sort of addict.  The worse part was I literally yelled at my close friend to eat her hot dog.  Seeing the hotdog just sitting there while she debated how to eat it, I lost it,  I just yelled "EAT IT."   This was officially my crazy lady moment of the day. I have since apologized for my emotional outburst. 

So today, I'm spending my day in my house where it doesn't smell like food, I can down my 4 protein shakes and chicken broth later (yum, the best part of my day as far as food is concerned)  without my senses getting overwhelmed by food reminders. 

Of course, I remind myself that I did not in fact give into the food truck temptation, but I still feel like I cheated, I think because I had such an emotional reaction.  Yesterday just reinforced why I am getting this surgery.  I want to control my life and food needs to not be in control anymore. 

6/25/13 my adventure begins....

A lot of people will probably read this blog and think Brandy's getting weight loss surgery??? Yep, I am.  If you have known me long enough, you know that weight has been something I have struggled with for my entire life. So I am doing something about it, with gastric sleeve surgery.  I will be chronicling my journey on this blog, so that questions like "what happened?" can easily be answered.  Follow me if you want, it's gonna be an adventure. 

Reasons why?
1. Diabetes runs in my family, I'm 30 and when a doctor tells you, that you will have it, something in you listens.

2.  Right now with my health, kids will not happen.  I love children, I can not wait to start a family and being obese is keeping me from my dreams.

3. I want my life to be filled with adventure and a future of health complications due to my weight is something I need to fix now, while I am young and able to.

I understand a lot of people will have their own opinions about my journey and that's OK.  I am doing this for me and my future health. 

Tuesday June 25, 2013 is my surgery date.  The date my adventure begins.